


yeah you turn me on

by hadrons_collide



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Dick Pics, F/M, M/M, No Spoilers, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2101440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadrons_collide/pseuds/hadrons_collide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Peter Quill sent out a dick message, and the one time someone sent him one</p>
            </blockquote>





	yeah you turn me on

**Author's Note:**

> Saw the movie again today, and when Peter yelled "They got my dick message!" all I could think about was how many times he's probably said that. And then this happened.
> 
> This mostly follows the comics but you don't really have to know much other than Carol's up in space and Peter and Kitty hit it off during the All New X-men/GOTG crossover. And that Tony was with the Guardians for the first couple of arcs. I sorta used the world-building from the movies, though, so. It's whatever. I just really needed to write something about Peter Quill and his pelvic sorcery.
> 
> Written in one evening and I only really know Kitty from the crossover + the small handful of X-comics I've read, so sorry if I got her totally wrong.

i. Gamora

Peter's lounging on his bed, lazily flicking through the pictures on his communicator when he finds it, hidden amongst all the naked pictures girls have sent him. The single greatest dick pic he's ever taken. He glances back to the door to make sure it's closed before he flicks it up onto the hologram and admires his own handiwork.

It's from a while back - he's pretty sure it's from right before they found Angela. Back when he had more time to bother with stuff like sending holograms of his dick to random girls whose numbers he'd gotten and hoping they'd send something back. Everything about the picture was great- the angle, the lighting, everything added up and made his junk even more impressive than it already was thanks to some wonderful Spartax genetics. He hopes it's not weird that he's more turned on by a picture of his own dick than by the rainbow of tits he had been looking at before.

Because here's the thing - Peter really, really needs to get laid. And god, does he know it. They've been going from place to place so fast, cashing in on bounties, helping out the Nova Corps with stuff, that he hasn't even had time to drop down and have a quickie with a random local girl wherever they end up. It's just one thing after another, adventure after adventure, and it'd be great if he wasn't getting so sick of jerking off alone in his quarters.

So Peter decides he's just going to send the picture to the last girl he's messaged and see what happens. Worst they can say is no, but he's got time to get as far as Hala if someone's interested.

He slightly regrets his course of action when he realizes the last girl he messaged was Gamora, letting him know where to pick her up from her little mission with the Winter Soldier. Gamora's shot Peter down so many times that he's almost lost interest in her - almost.

However, she's never seen him naked. Especially not like this, in all of his glory. So Peter figures, what the hell. If for some reason she's interested, she's just across the hall. So he hits send, gives his dick a couple strokes, then waits.

When he hears her loud shout of "QUILL!!!!!!" from outside his door, Peter realizes he may have made a mistake.

 

ii. Kitty

So, okay, Gamora didn't like it. But she's probably the first girl in the whole universe who hasn't liked it. Or at least, the first girl who's told him she didn't like it.

Luckily, Peter knows plenty of girls. Xandarians, local girls on Knowhere that might actually be prostitutes now that he thinks about it, Kree girls, one or two Asgardians- hell, even a couple good looking Skrull girls. But when he goes to his contacts, the first name that jumps out at him is the one that makes him smile the most.

He's been trying to make it work with Kitty since he gave her a communicator. Really, honestly, he has. She's hot and deals with at least half as much shit as he does on a daily basis, so they have a lot in common.

But distance relationships suck no matter what, and if that distance is literally half a galaxy, it sucks really, really hard. The time difference on its own is a nightmare, especially since his own location varies so much. Right now, though, if he's calculated right, it's early evening at the Jean Grey School, so Kitty should at least be done with teaching for the day.

He owes Kitty enough to at least warn her, though. After all, she works with kids- last thing he needs is to scar an impressionable young mutant with his junk. "You busy?" he types out.

The reply takes only seconds. "Just grading papers. As always. So boring."

Peter smiles as he types out his response. "Wanna do something more fun?" He sends the picture, too, then waits. He tugs his shirt off and tosses it across the room, preparing for her response. He runs his fingers through his hair, and then his communicator goes off again.

It's the hologram, this time, and Kitty's eyes are wide when she sees him in nothing but his underwear. "Peter! What the hell?"

He shrugs and gives her a lopsided grin. "Hey to you, too, Kitty."

She rolls her eyes. "At least this is better than the last time you called me. From prison," she says pointedly. 

"And that picture wasn't too bad, either, huh?" he says with a wink. 

Kitty sighs. "Look, Peter, it's just- you're cute. Hot, even. And it's so great to talk to someone outside of all the mutant drama that's always going on."

This time Peter sighs. "But, let me guess- you just wanna be friends?"

Her mouth curls into a grin. "I didn't say that. I'm just... don't take this the wrong way, but I've never really been great at, you know... I guess... I prefer in-person sex?" 

She blushes and Peter can't help but laugh, because really, Kitty is too cute. "I wish I was even vaguely close to Earth, babe. If I wasn't clear across the galaxy, I'd fly us right back to your school and have some very awesome in-person sex with you."

Kitty smiles back at him. "Aww. Well, until then, I'm keeping the picture." She winks and Peter laughs.

He lays back on the bed, laying his head on the pillow and setting the communicator next to him so it was almost like Kitty was sitting next to him on his bed. "So what's up with you? We haven't talked in a while."

She raises an eyebrow and nods at him. "Don't you need to, um..." Kitty gestures at his crotch but Peter just shakes his head.

"Nah," he says, pressing the heel of his hand against his dick and trying to convince himself. There would be plenty of time for that- right now, he's down to just chat with Kitty. "So, how are things at the school?"

 

iii. Carol

It takes him all of a day to get back to his plan of sending out the dick pic- Kitty's great, and if she ever wanted him to stop trying to get with every girl in the galaxy, he'd for sure consider it. But for now, Peter's free to do what he wants, and he's definitely going to take advantage of that. He sends it to Carol this time- at least she's out here on their side of the galaxy, somewhere, and he's pretty sure she'd be down.

When his communicator beeps with an incoming hologram, he smiles and hits accept. Carol sees him lounging on his bed in his boxers and rolls her eyes. "You're so gross, Quill."

"You're the one responding," he says with a smirk. "Like what you see, Captain?"

She chuckles. "In your dreams."

"Oh, I've dreamed about it," Peter says, remembering. "You were amazing. Pretty sure we fucked in mid-air."

Carol just stares at him for a moment, then a smile crosses her lips. "Okay, that actually sounds pretty awesome."

Peter mentally punches the air. Success! At least, relative success. "You nearby? Because we could totally try and make that dream a reality."

She sighs, and Peter knows nothing good ever follows that. "I am, and I totally would. It's just... I'm kind of helping rebuild everything your dad ruined, so..."

Peter cringes, because Carol just said the opposite of a magic word. Nothing would ever kill his boner faster than mentioning his dad ever would. "Do me a favor, Carol- when we finally hook up, can you please not in any way talk about my dad?"

She laughs. "I'll keep that in mind. But right now, I'm gonna go."

"Yeah. Gimme a call if you need any help ever."

Carol grins at him. "Will do, Peter. See ya around."

 

iv. Girl on Xandar

He picks a random number the next time. It's just saved under "Girl on Xandar" which honestly doesn't bode well, but whatever. They're just outside Xandar right now, and it would be really easy to redirect them there if she's down.

Ten, fifteen minutes go by, and Peter wonders if maybe he should try another girl. There are at least ten girls on Xandar in his contacts, and he thinks at least half of them aren't married, so he's got plenty of chances. Then his hologram beeps and he turns it on, met with a very pretty pink-skinned Xandarian girl.

"Hey there," Peter says with a smirk.

"Star Lord?" she says, eyes widening, and his dick goes from vaguely interested to full attention, as it normally does when a hot girl calls him that.

"Yeah, babe, that's me."

Her eyes light up, and Peter feels so, so lucky in this moment. "I didn't think you'd remember me," she says.

"How could I forget?" he lies, already plotting how he's going to convince the other guys he needed to head down to Xandar. "We had such an amazing night together."

She blinks a couple times, staring at him. "It was day. The middle of the afternoon."

Peter nods, trying to at least vaguely remember her and failing. "Right, right. Afternoon. Of course."

Her face falls. "Do you even know my name?"

Peter racks his brain, trying as hard as he possibly can to remember. "Of course I do..."

She glares at him for a full minute as he fails to come up with even a start. "Goodbye, Peter Quill. Don't call me again."

His communicator goes dark and Peter groans, letting his head hit the pillow. "So close," he mutters.

 

v. Rocket (totally, 100%, accidental)

So Peter just says "fuck it" and sends the picture en masse to every girl in his contacts he's pretty sure wouldn't murder him if he sent them a picture of his dick.

Unfortunately, none of the ones who message him back are anywhere close to him. Or he just flat out doesn't want to deal with them again. One of the Kree girls who responds seems interesting enough, but when she tells Peter she'll make sure her boyfriend is gone when he gets here, he closes the hologram. He's not going to go through that much trouble just to get laid.

He makes his way up to the common area of the ship, because if there's anything he needs right now (other than sex, of course), it's a good strong drink. When he gets there, though, he's met with the hologram of his dick and Rocket literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"Fuck," Peter says, scrubbing a hand over his face. He must have hit Rocket's name by mistake when he was sending the picture out. He briefly wonders who else he accidentally sent it to, but he left his communicator in his quarters, so he'll have to deal with that later.

"Please tell me you have a good excuse for sending me this, Quill," Rocket says between laughs.

Peter sighs and reaches for the bottle of whiskey he got at the Earth outpost last time they were on Hala. "I didn't mean to," he says, taking a swig straight from the bottle. He's the only one who drinks the stuff, so why not. "I sent it to, like, every girl I didn't think would murder me."

"Guess that worked out for you," Rocket says sarcastically. Peter groans and takes another swig.

"Whatever. I haven't gotten laid in for-fucking-ever, so I got desperate. You would have done the same thing."

"Except I'm never that desperate," Rocket says with a grin. "Is that the same one you sent Gamora? Because she was talking about it the other day and..."

Peter rolls his eyes and heads back to his quarters. He doesn't have to deal with this. 

 

\+ Tony

His communicator is flashing with an incoming message when he gets back, and Peter thinks he might have finally gotten a good response. But when he sees the ID is Tony Stark, he groans a little before accepting the hologram, because Earth is probably under attack or something and he's gonna have to go deal with that instead of drinking himself to sleep.

Except Tony's sitting in his underwear, trying to figure out how to position himself in front of the communicator, and all Peter can say is "what the hell?"

Tony jumps, forgetting Peter could see him. "Shit. Um. Hi. I always feel awkward talking on this thing, and last time Rocket and Groot made me feel even more awkward, so. Hey." 

Tony gives a little wave and Peter locks the door before climbing onto his bed with the communicator. "Hey yourself."

"I got your message," Tony says, grinning.

Peter's eyes widen in realization as he sinks into the mattress. "You got my dick message."

Tony nods. "I've gotta say, Quill, if I'd known you were interested back when I was up there, I never even would have thought about Gamora. I mean..."

He rambles on for a couple minutes about how hot Peter is and what a disaster it was with Gamora, and Peter just stares at Tony, taking him in. He's never really considered guys as an option, but he's not exactly ruling it out just yet. Because there's just something about the glow of the arc reactor on Tony's chest, the defined abs, the arm muscles, and the way his dick is straining against the front of his boxers that makes Peter think _fuck it_.

He strips down to his underwear and gives himself a couple strokes through the fabric and Tony straight up _groans_ and shit, that goes straight to Peter's dick. "Jesus, Quill, I never even thought you'd be into this."

"Still not sure I am," Peter says, hitting a couple buttons on the communicator so the hologram is larger. "But I'm tired of jerking off alone, which seems to have been all I've done lately, so..."

"I totally get that," Tony nods, thumbs hooked in the waistband of his boxers. "Can I...?"

"Yeah, go for it." Peter pulls off his own boxers, and if someone had told him a week ago that the only success his dick pic would have gotten him was hologram sex with Tony Stark, he would have laughed. But now he's staring at Tony, at fucking Iron Man, breathing heavy and stroking his dick and staring at Peter like he's the only thing that matters. "Nice," he says, nodding at Tony's dick.

"Not as impressive as yours," Tony says, moaning as Peter wraps his fingers around his dick and strokes. "God, I'm never fucking deleting that picture."

Peter lets out a hoarse laugh. "It's even better in the flesh," he murmurs, and Tony groans again, loud and uninhibited.

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep, Quill, because I can totally free my schedule and get up there-"

"Do it," Peter breathes out, speeding up his hand.

"Jesus. Fuck." Tony reaches out and fumbles around off the hologram for a moment. "Peter," he moans, and Peter makes a mental note of the way Tony's running his thumb over the head of his dick, just in case it comes in handy later. "This is so forward, but god I want you to fuck me."

All the breath leaves Peter's chest as he realizes Tony's looking for lube, because _Jesus fucking Christ_. He watches, jaw hanging open, hand moving lazily over his own dick, as Tony shifts on the bed and pushes two fingers inside himself.

It's the last thing Peter ever thought he'd be into, except maybe that one girl with the tentacles that one time. But holy shit, he is so into Tony Stark fucking himself on his own fingers. "Oh my _god_ , Tony," he says aloud, spitting in his hand before speeding up.

"So, you're into it?" Tony asks between moans, and fuck, he's still got one hand on his dick.

"I am now," he replies, letting out a low groan when Tony adds a third finger. He's close, he realizes as he leans back into his pillow. He hopes Tony's not far behind, because that would be seriously embarrassing.

"Fuck, yes," Tony mumbles, voice thick with lust. "Gonna be so good, getting fucked by the legendary Star Lord."

And that's all it takes. Peter comes with a choked moan over his hand. Tony keeps on mumbling, _fuck that's hot, Quill,_ and it's not long before he's following Peter over the edge.

"Well, that was awesome," Peter says when he's finally composed himself.

"Mmm..." Tony agrees, curled up and staring unashamedly at Peter.

He flashes Tony a grin and cards his fingers through his hair. "So, you said you could be up here in a couple days?"

Tony laughs. "Yeah, I think so. I'll have to check my schedule, but I'll get back to you."

Peter smiles. "You better."

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna talk to me forever about peter quill (especially carolpeter and starkquill which is apparently now a Thing for me), come find me on [tumblr](http://ohquill.tumblr.com)


End file.
